Catullus 10

Varus me meus ad suos amores
My friend Varus had led me, at leisure,

visum duxerat e foro otiosum,
out of the forum to visit his girlfriend,

scortillum, ut mihi tum repente visum est,
a dear little whore, as she appeared to me at first glance

non sane illepidum neque invenustum.
not truly uncharming nor without beauty.

huc ut venimus, incidere nobis
When we arrived here, various speeches happened to us

sermones varii: in quibus, quid esset
in which, what Bithynia is now;

iam Bithynia; quo modo se haberet;
in what way it held itself;

et quonam mihi profuisset aere.
with what kind of money it had benefited me.
<TRICOLON CRESCENS. Mad props to Nick.>

respondi, id quod erat, nihil neque ipsis
I responded, that which was, that there was nothing neither for the natives

nec praetoribus esse nec cohorti,
nor for the governors nor the cohort.

cur quisquam caput unctius referret,
Why anyone should return a more oiled head,

praesertim quibus esset irrumator
especially for whom the praetor was a pervert,

praetor, nec faceret pili cohortem.
and nor did he make his cohort of a hair/consider his cohort of any value.

“at certe tamen,” inquiunt “quod illic
"But certainly, however," they say/said "that which is said

natum dicitur esse, comparasti
to have been born there, you obtained

ad lecticam homines.” ego, ut puellae
men for (the purpose of carrying) a litter." I, so that

unum me facerem beatiorem,
I might make myself one rather fortunate to the girl,

“non” inquam “mihi tam fuit maligne,
said "It was not so badly for me,

ut, provincia quod mala incidisset,
that, because a bad province had fallen (to me)

non possem octo homines parare rectos.”
I was not able to purchase eight proper/straight men."

at mi nullus erat nec hic neque illic,
But there was no one to me/I had no one neither here nor there,

fractum qui veteris pedem grabati
who was able to place the broken foot of

in collo sibi collocare posset.
an old cot on his neck.

hic illa, ut decuit cinaediorem,
At this point she, as was fitting a rather opportunistic (girl),

“quaeso” inquit mihi, “mi Catulle, paulum
said to me, "Please, my Catullus, lend them

istos commoda; nam volo ad Serapim
a little; for I want to be brought

deferri.” “mane,” inquii puellae,
to (the temple of) Serapis." "Wait," I said to the girl,

“istud quod modo dixeram me habere,
"That which I had just said that I have,

fugit me ratio: meus sodalis –
reason fled me: my companion -

Cinna est Gaius – is sibi paravit.
he is Gaius Cinna - he bought them for himself.

verum, utrum illius an mei, quid ad me?
But, whether his or mine, what is it to me?

utor tam bene quam mihi pararim.
I use them as well as I have bought them for myself.

sed tu insulsa male et molesta vivis,
But you are badly/very/especially dull and annoying,

per quam non licet esse neglegentem.”
through whom it is not permitted to be careless."